20 octobre, 2005

Couper court

Je viens de supprimer le blog sur lequel v m'écrivait ses messages. Il n' a plus de raison d'être et je n'ai plus de raison d'y aller faire un tour.
Voilà une bonne chose de faite.
Après "ne pas répondre" c'est le meilleur conseil que j'ai reçu.
Merci Blue

72 Comments:

At 1:54 PM, Anonymous Anonyme said...

Comment faire lorsque son fils de 15ans a été contaminé par la maladie pn de son père ,et a demandé à aller vivre avec lui et m'oublie complètement.AUCUNE nouvelle si ce n'est moi qui appelle

 
At 10:53 PM, Anonymous Anonyme said...

Bonjour ,
je vis la meme chose que vous avec mon fils de 15 ans

Il faut tenir le coup , nous n avons pas le choix
je crois qu il faut s armer de patience aussi.
Moi jme suis dit que peut etre d ici 12 a 18 mois je commencerai a avoir un retour
c dur mais c uniquement grace a cette longue echeance que je me suis mise que j arrive a supporter les souffrances que cela occasionne

 
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Bonne réflexion que voilà. Je me la suis posée aussi. Il y a trop de preuves qui me montrent cette froideur que j'ai observée chez lui, pas seulement envers moi.
Au début je percevais ça par rapport au fait que je suis sensible à ce que pensent les gens. Lui il s'en fout de ce que pensent les gens.
Non je l'ai vu aussi envers les autres. Il avait de la compassion au départ pour quelqu'un dont il me parlait, mais ensuite, pour la même personne, plus rien : une totale indifférence.

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At 10:10 PM, Blogger vera said...

Bonjour,
Vous lire me donne la chair de poule, et en même temps cela me fait un bien fou de savoir que je ne suis pas toute seule. Mes enfants ont 6 et 7 ans. J'ai besoin d'un psy pour eux et d'un véritable avocat au Québec.
Qq'un en connaît-il? Je sens mes enfants terriblement en danger.

 
At 6:20 PM, Blogger anonyme said...

je viens de découvrir quemon compagnon était un pervs narcissique, je suis dans un état psychique déplorable
il m'a isolée de toute ma famille
le seul acceptant de m'aider c'est mon père et uniquement par téléphone
il ne cesse de me répéte que la seule pesonne pouvant m'aider c'est moi, il ne comprend pas ma depression
j'ai besoin de l'aide de quelqu'un étant passé par là pur tenir le coup

merci

 
At 4:23 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Bonjour Vera,

Il y'a une excellente pédopsychologue situé à Terrebonne, au nord de Montréal.

Je ne me souvient pas de son nom mais elle a une excellente réputation. Peut-être qu'en communiquant au clsc du coin, il pourront de guider.

Syl

 
At 7:17 PM, Anonymous Anonyme said...

bonjour,
je m apl kathie j ai 30 j ai rencontré un pn lors d un sejour en hp apres une tentative de suicide,il avais dix ans de moins que moi, il a trouvé les mots pour me sauver il ma promis amour bonheur enfants une vie merveilleuse, j y croyais plus fort que j amais on a vecu ensemble et la mon enfer a commencé, la drogue les mensonges les tromperies les humiliations, j etais une moins que rien une idiote, rien etait de sa faute, il se droguais oui mais fallais le pardonner du a son enfance, j ai voulu le quitter il pleurais toutes les larmes de son coprs s excusais criais au suicide, je pardonnais puis le lendemain me tapais dessus, jetais mes affaires en pleine rue, il se servais de moi, pour mon argent, son bien etre, j ai eu un cancer le jour de mon anniverssaire j ai subiit un traitement douloureux il ma reprocher d etre malade que a cause de lui on ne sortais pas... je me suis ouverte les veines pour le faire taire quand il me mettais plus bas que terre, il me poussais a bout pour que je lui mette un coup et aplais la police... il a fini par me jeter comme une merde sans etat d ame sans remord, il ma remplacer en deux jours, plus de nouvelle, jusqu il ya quelque jours
il me demande d aller boire un café avec lui me dit que oui il a une copine mais qu il ne l aime pas il crois que je suis en couple il me dit que ca lui fait mal au ventre.... je me suis meme excusé de ne pas ete avoir parfaite avec lui, mon psy ma dit de taper pervers narcissique sur google, j y croyais pas, comment on peut etre aussi cruel et mechant, tout n est que manipulation et mensonge et j en creve parceque j ai l impression que sans lui je suis rien il me manque j en suis malade, mais il m aime pas il c juste servie de moi, comment ne plus ressentir ce mal enorme d avoir été trompée dupée, humiliée .... j ai envie d en crever

 
At 10:30 AM, Anonymous Anonyme said...

kathie accroche toi crois tu quil merite que tu fasses des conneries pour lui, il faut apprendre a refaire des choses, a vivre sans lui c tres dur mais si tu ne le vois plus tu seras bien obligé de vivre et de reconstruire ta vie, accroche toi bisousssssssss

 
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Moi, c'est mon fils de 23 ans. Je lui ai demandé de quitter la maison après l'avoir élevé, bien malgré moi, mais je devais me protéger. Il s'est allié avec son père (également PN) contre moi et s'en donnent à coeur joie. Mais la vie continue et nous ne pouvons rien faire contre ces personnes sans coeur. Il faut penser à nous et réaliser que le problème n'est pas nous, mais eux. Bonne continuation à tous les parents d'enfants PN !

 
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At 12:45 AM, Anonymous Anonyme said...

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Je suis psychiatre, et j.ai vécu 20 ans avec un pervers..
Les psychiatres sont fous, c'est une pensée commune...
Qu'elle honte et qu'elle attaque narcissique, dans ma position de femme, de mère, d'être humain et au sein de mes assises professionnelles.. Probablement certains d'entre vous doute même de ma crédibilité en me lisant, je sais. J'ai pourtant une belle carrière, je crois connaître mon métier. Je le fais avec passion et intégrité. pourtant, comme vous tous, je me suis faite avoir. amoureuse folle, aliénée a l'autre, je me suis perdue. Je me suis vu coulée, perdre mon âme, pleurer, réfléchir des heures et ne rien comprendre.
Vouloir partir et revenir en m'excusant, annuler en quelques minutes tout le mal ressentit quelques heures plus tôt...
De temps en temps, encore je m'en veux d'avoir été aussi stupide, même si je sais bien que ce n'est pas de ça dont il s'agit.. Aujourd'hui libérée de cette relation folle, fatiguée, même épuisée je me régale chaque jour du bonheur d'etre partie.
leur incapacité à lâcher, à nous laisser en paie, me surprend encore, 3 ans plus tard, il en est toujours au même endroit, les mêmes choses, quasiment les mêmes phrases... Mais je vous le dis à tous,je n'en vois plus que la maladie, la folie et le ridicule de la perte temps et delà non-vie qui l'occupe.
Ne pas entrer dans son jeux, ne jamais le croire même quand il dit bonjour, ne rien écouter, avoir toujours un train d'avance. L'experience de ce que vous avez vécu doit vous permettre d'anticiper ses réactions, on ne sait pas d'ou ça peut venir, mais savoir que l'agressivité va arriver, dans le seul but de faire vaciller. J'ai d'abord appliquer quelques règles simples, ne pas répondre, jamais de suite, laisser passer du temps, et ne répondre que si cela a un sens, l'ignorer, le laisser face à son vide, dans tous les domaines, et chaque fois que cela est possible' ça n'a pas été sans mal, et le mot est faible. Je suis allée à l'enconte de ce que je pensais vouloir faire, dire et penser, chaque fois j'ai pris le temps, je n'ai rien décider sans dormir un jour ou deux. Cela parrait. Tout simple, et pourtant, j'ai parfois presque du laisser mon téléphone, mes mails pour ne pas répondre.. Des amis m'ont aidé, beaucoup sont du métier,je leur ai fait confiance, j'ai écouté. J'ai passé jour après jour, à me battre contre moi même, me suis considérée ma pire ennemie,j'ai acceptée cette idée d'etre aliénée a lui, " folle de lui" au sens profond de ce que cela signifie, et maintenant que cette étape est passée, quelque soit les résultats de ce divorce, j'ai déjà gagné,
Je suis si heureuse de mettre retrouvée que je souhaitais le partager, et bien entendu, si je le peux, j'en aiderai certains, comme on l'a fait pour moi.
Bonne soirée à tous, et oui, je le pense, la vie est belle.

 
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